Brain Fog

 

In my last post, I talked about having to deal with a fogged-up mind, static thoughts, and feeling disconnected from socializing with others. Want to connect with people while having no idea how to open up to others. In this post, I'm going to talk about one of the major things that helped me open up to others and be able to become more social other than horseback riding.

The summer just before my soft-more year of high school I stayed with my Grandmother for a couple of weeks in Tennessee. During my stay, I was provided with southern food (comfort food, as they called it), more than what I was used to, along with a glass of milk with every breakfast. Beforehand I didn't drink much milk, but for some odd reason, this new routine got me to drink more milk and eat more yogurt. My Mother didn't think much of it, she was pleased that I started doing this, since milk is healthy for you after all.

For years my Mother tried to get me to gain weight since throughout my entire childhood I was underweight and below a size zero in pants. I had nothing on my bones as people would say. Others would say that models dream to be as skinny as me, but I always disagreed. No one should ever feel the need to be so skinny to the point that every time you fell, it would knock the wind out of you. Also trying to fill in clothes was almost impossible, especially as I got older and the clothes became more complicated.

It was a constant battle with me trying to gain weight. As I began my soft-more year I would get myself breakfast and two glasses of milk every morning, and for lunch, I would eat whatever I can find; a lot of times it would be a fried chicken sandwich or a salad, and a friend even introduced me to dipping pizza into ranch dressing, and oh my gosh was that good. Then when I got home I would eat yogurt and have milk chocolate from Germany. I just love German Chocolate! It's not as sweet as American chocolate.

As the school semester went on, my grades were unexpectedly low. I didn't understand why, and I would try my best, but even then my grades were terrible. As time went on I began to feel more and more tired and foggy. At the time I thought that it was just stress from my classes. That particular school year I had chemistry, math, German, English, orchestra, history, and a business or computer class. Chemistry and math were both my kryptonite. In History, it was always the same topic and events that they taught in middle school. English class I'm normally great at but at the time my teacher was particularly challenging, and it was hard to keep up with her standards.

German was fine at first, as it's my first language and I was taking the class to learn the grammar, but because it was more focused on teaching the language to beginners it became boring very quickly. But that one was my fault, as I should have taken another language class, but I was more annoyed by people telling me to learn a second language. I already know a second language, English, thank you very much. I'm actually learning French and Spanish on my own time now that I'm done in school.

My classes were very much complicated to where I just felt like crap. I was falling behind without a clue as to why. My Chemistry teacher practically gave up on the whole class. My mom warned me that if I don't get my grades up then I may be sent back to special-ed and not earn a diploma, (In the special ed program you do not earn a diploma, instead you get a certificate of attendance which is a pat on the back for showing up.) after having a meeting with my English teacher about my extremely low grade to the point that it was a six. Not a good grade in either one of my countries. (Germany's grading system is more like 1 representing the highest score,2,3 is still passing but anything above that is failing.) Even though I didn't want to return, I was on the brink of giving up. I truly was giving up.

My case manager who was also my ACT teacher, (ACT was a class for doing homework, or just doing whatever.) spoke about how certain foods can affect our performance in life and how it can slow us down and fog the brain. I just sat there listening, and thinking about how I don't want to deal with that. Why should I have to deal with that? I love food too much to give up certain foods.

It turns out that he noticed how much I was struggling and risked his job by reaching out to my mom and sending her to a seminar about autism that he paid for. Afterward, she spoke about everything that she learned from the seminar during dinner; how certain foods can affect the brain such as how gluten tricks the brain to think oh this is beer so you end up acting drunk without drinking anything, and then you have casein which is a protein in cow milk, that tricks the brain to think it's on drugs, (oh what fun); and because of this, people with autism need to stay away from gluten and dairy. She then looks at me and says “we are trying this on you starting tomorrow”. “OK” I say while hoping it doesn't work. Not long after that, we began looking for foods that were gluten-free and dairy free. It was like finding a needle in a haystack. A lot of it tasted bland, the bread just crumbled while picking it up, and the taste of dairy-free milk was undesirable. I also had to read everything on the ingredients list of every package.

We also went to Dr. Marilyn Peterson, the owner of Parkwood Farms a Hippotherapy riding center where I took my riding lessons. Except for this time, it was a different type of appointment. This time around they had me do a test where I placed my hand on this sensor, it then transferred data onto the computer showing what my system was lacking, and also what I had too much of that was affecting me negatively. We then went over the results, what supplements my body needed, and what other foods I needed to avoid. At the end of the appointment I found myself with a long list of vitamins that I had to take, and foods that I had to stay away from. From that moment on I was practically on a cleansing. My Dad joked around that I could eat nothing but rice and water, instead of saying bread and water. Some of the other foods that I had to stay away from were high fructose corn syrup, mushrooms, and red food dye 40. I now no longer have to stay away from mushrooms but everything else I do.

After a few weeks, I started feeling better than I did before. I would interact with people more. I began making friends that were close friends and not just the current lunch group for the year or classmates. I enjoy hugging people and talking to people. Before I would just give a side hug. Above all, it's like a fog lifted and I can open up more and think more clearly.

I'm not going to lie. Changing my eating lifestyle was and sometimes still is the most challenging thing that I have ever done. That same year I went to Germany and every time I go there is German chocolate everywhere, which has milk in it that I grew up eating, such as duplos, hanutas, Milka, smarties ( sort of like M&Ms), and then there are all the cakes. If I list everything then this would become too long. When you are someone that has a large sweat tooth, a chocoholic, and a foodie with a family that loves to cook from all sides, it becomes difficult to fight the cravings. It's still a struggle for me today. Not too long ago, I was in college I was hanging out in a study room on campus when two of my peers come in with cheesecakes, my mouth just starts watering so I left the room to get away from the urge to eat one.

My family supported my new eating lifestyle and are the reason behind it, but it was still hard for them as much as it was for me. Everyone, especially my parents had to find new ways to cook every family meal, and grocery shopping became more expensive. Take away gluten from something and the price goes higher, or they'll just mark it as gluten-free just to bring the price up. We went grocery shopping once with my aunt, and as we walked past the yogurt section she goes over and says “look, it says gluten-free yogurt”, my parents and I just start laughing, yogurt is already gluten-free. So why bother to label it as so? Unfortunately, it wasn't dairy free so it wasn't much of a find, other than a really funny one. Sadly this particular yogurt was also more expensive than the others. So watch out for that! As I began attending college in 2014 there was this huge gluten-free trend that showed up out of nowhere, and it became so much easier for me to find things to eat.

I sincerely recommend at least trying to go gluten and dairy free. As difficult as it may have been for me to change my dietary habits overnight, I still have to say it changed my life for the best. I want to say after two weeks or so my grades started to go back up and I became more interactive with people than before. I even started to gain weight.

The following year I had to retake the first semester of sophomore English, then during the second semester I took my first semester online at home, all while taking the second semester in class at once. It was confusing at times but for the most part, I kept everything in order.

Once again I will say try this dietary lifestyle. Go to a nutritionist seminar on autism, and a therapist that focuses on autism, and most importantly do your own research. I promise that it will be one of the most difficult things you will ever do but it's worth doing. Also, keep in mind that there is also a chance that it's not needed for you or your family member to go gluten and dairy free. Not everyone does and I do hope that you don't have to, but it's still worth trying.